Frustrated Kiwi lovers are being encouraged to use this Valentine’s Day to rediscover why they fell in love, by looking at their relationship through a different part of their brain.
Herrmann International has collected thinking preference data on women and men across the globe for the past 30 years and has compiled a statistical database containing 2 million profiles worldwide.
Wayne Goodley, Managing Director of Herrmann International New Zealand says the paradox about love is we attract people with opposite thinking, which supports the notion of nature facilitating diversity. However, over time these differences which were once celebrated in the relationship, become areas of friction.
“The secret to not being driven mad by our partner is to increase self-awareness of the ‘thinking lenses’ through which you and your partner view the world,” says Goodley.
Many people are familiar with the terms ‘left brain’ and ‘right brain’ thinking, but Whole Brain® thinking takes this one step further by dividing the brain into four quadrants to help figure out what degree of preference individuals have for thinking in each of their four brain quadrants.
The upper left ‘blue’ quadrant specialises in logical, analytical, quantitative, fact-based thinking. The lower left ‘green’ quadrant focuses on details and specialises in planning, organising and sequencing information. The lower right ‘red’ quadrant places a priority on feelings and the interpersonal, emotional and kinaesthetic aspects of a situation. The upper right ‘yellow’ quadrant synthesises and integrates information and is more intuitive and holistic in its thinking.
“Of course we know that the two lenses through which you and your partner view the world are generally going to be opposite. For example one partner may be a planner, the other more spontaneous. So a solution to meeting both needs may be during the weekends, Saturday is completely planned and Sunday isn’t. By agreeing on a compromise you may be surprised how you look forward to each other’s day!”
Goodley says partners who have learned how to work around each other’s thinking preference become powerful and attractive couples.
“Our research found that men and women only share ten percent in common in regards to their thinking, therefore we can conclude most couples at some stage in their relationship will find their partner frustrating.
“However, once you realise your partner’s way of thinking does actually complete you (to borrow a line from Tom Cruise!), then you can work towards ‘shared thinking’. With these new skills you can rekindle the spark in your love life, deepen your understanding of one another and better work through the rough patches that come in every relationship,” says Goodley.
About Herrmann International
The originator of the Whole Brain® system and the Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument® (HBDI®) thinking styles assessment, Herrmann International works with organisations around the world to help them put their full brainpower to work to outthink, outpace and outperform the competition. The company’s Whole Brain® Thinking framework, which includes a variety of learning solutions, facilitation resources, job aids and business tools, has helped nine out of ten of the Fortune 100 harness their collective intelligence to sell more, spend less, innovate faster, and develop and retain the best talent.
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